You’ve optimized routines. You’ve read the books. You’ve pushed through exhaustion. You’ve adapted, adjusted, and carried on — often quietly, competently, and without much support.

So when perimenopause arrives and things start to feel harder, the reflex is often the same…

A sense of self isn’t just about identity or personality. It’s also about predictability — knowing, more or less, how you think, feel, and respond. In perimenopause, internally, something feels off — less steady, less familiar, harder to rely on.

Many women experiencing perimenopausal rage have never identified as “angry people.” They may have been the calm one, the peacemaker, the responsible one, the one who held things together.

So when anger breaks through, it can feel frightening — even shameful.

If you’ve found yourself more on edge, more reactive, or constantly bracing for something — even when nothing is wrong — you’re not imagining it. And you’re definitely not alone.

This post will help you understand why anxiety feels different in perimenopause, how to distinguish it from general anxiety, and what actually helps.