“I’m functioning, but I feel emotionally flat.”

This emotional flatness can be confusing and even frightening. Some women worry they’re becoming depressed. Others wonder if they’re burned out, unmotivated, or emotionally checked out. Often, it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.

You fall asleep — sometimes without much trouble — and then wake in the early morning hours. Your heart is racing. Your body feels alert. Your mind is suddenly busy. Getting back to sleep feels impossible, even though you’re exhausted.

Sleep disruption is one of the earliest and most underestimated features of menopause — and it profoundly affects emotional resilience, anxiety, and mood.

Many women in perimenopause find themselves asking a question that feels surprisingly hard to answer:

Am I anxious?
Am I depressed?
Or is this “just hormones”?

You’ve optimized routines. You’ve read the books. You’ve pushed through exhaustion. You’ve adapted, adjusted, and carried on — often quietly, competently, and without much support.

So when perimenopause arrives and things start to feel harder, the reflex is often the same…

A sense of self isn’t just about identity or personality. It’s also about predictability — knowing, more or less, how you think, feel, and respond. In perimenopause, internally, something feels off — less steady, less familiar, harder to rely on.

Many women in perimenopause describe the emotional sensitivity as feeling like they have “thinner skin.” Things that once rolled off, now register. Conversations replay in your mind. Disappointment feels sharper. Even affection can feel more intense.

Many women experiencing perimenopausal rage have never identified as “angry people.” They may have been the calm one, the peacemaker, the responsible one, the one who held things together.

So when anger breaks through, it can feel frightening — even shameful.

Perimenopause changes the internal environment of your nervous system in ways that make everyday stressors feel heavier, louder, and harder to manage. You’re not becoming less capable — your body is moving through a transition that affects how you experience pressure, emotion, and demand.

If you’ve found yourself more on edge, more reactive, or constantly bracing for something — even when nothing is wrong — you’re not imagining it. And you’re definitely not alone.

This post will help you understand why anxiety feels different in perimenopause, how to distinguish it from general anxiety, and what actually helps.

If you’ve hit your 40s or 50s and suddenly feel more emotional, more overwhelmed, more irritable, more forgetful, or more reactive than you’ve ever been, you are not alone — and you are not “losing it.”

If you’ve been forgetting words, losing your train of thought, or feeling mentally “foggy,” you’re not imagining it — and you’re certainly not alone. One of the most surprising symptoms of perimenopause isn’t just hot flashes or mood changes.

If you had the opportunity to watch yourself as you moved through your day, would you see a person behaved as though they valued themselves?

Clients come to therapy wanting to change something. Yet, change can be really difficult. You want to change – how do you make it easier to do?

How to change when you’re an overthinker and perfectionist - common barriers and how to get around them.

Mindfulness changed my life. What is it and why do I recommend it for overthinkers?

Happiness, joy, contentedness – bring them on! Anxiety, sadness, shame – they can stay as our enemies, am I right? Just like we pull our hand away from a hot burner, we pull away from negative-feeling emotions. Makes perfect sense.

Sloooow down. What if I told you that it is the pulling away that causes the real suffering, not the negative-feeling emotions?

…what are you missing in life while you’re working so hard to control your anxiety? What does trying to stop your anxiety cost you in terms of…your health?...your finances?...your relationships?...your time spent alive?...your work?...opportunities?

As overthinkers, our minds hold our thoughts in high regard. It makes sense, because as overachievers, our thoughts have brought us a lot of success. But sometimes, our thoughts paralyze us.

How did attachment influence your perfectionism? To make sense of “my needs are not met consistently,” your brain came up with the idea – ah, I must not be good enough, there must be something wrong with me. I know! I’ll become perfect!