“I’m functioning, but I feel emotionally flat.”

This emotional flatness can be confusing and even frightening. Some women worry they’re becoming depressed. Others wonder if they’re burned out, unmotivated, or emotionally checked out. Often, it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.

You fall asleep — sometimes without much trouble — and then wake in the early morning hours. Your heart is racing. Your body feels alert. Your mind is suddenly busy. Getting back to sleep feels impossible, even though you’re exhausted.

Sleep disruption is one of the earliest and most underestimated features of menopause — and it profoundly affects emotional resilience, anxiety, and mood.

Many women in perimenopause find themselves asking a question that feels surprisingly hard to answer:

Am I anxious?
Am I depressed?
Or is this “just hormones”?

You’ve optimized routines. You’ve read the books. You’ve pushed through exhaustion. You’ve adapted, adjusted, and carried on — often quietly, competently, and without much support.

So when perimenopause arrives and things start to feel harder, the reflex is often the same…

A sense of self isn’t just about identity or personality. It’s also about predictability — knowing, more or less, how you think, feel, and respond. In perimenopause, internally, something feels off — less steady, less familiar, harder to rely on.

Many women in perimenopause describe the emotional sensitivity as feeling like they have “thinner skin.” Things that once rolled off, now register. Conversations replay in your mind. Disappointment feels sharper. Even affection can feel more intense.

Many women experiencing perimenopausal rage have never identified as “angry people.” They may have been the calm one, the peacemaker, the responsible one, the one who held things together.

So when anger breaks through, it can feel frightening — even shameful.

Perimenopause changes the internal environment of your nervous system in ways that make everyday stressors feel heavier, louder, and harder to manage. You’re not becoming less capable — your body is moving through a transition that affects how you experience pressure, emotion, and demand.