Why Perimenopause Makes Everything Feel so Overwhelming
Why does everything feel so hard right now?
If you’ve found yourself thinking, “I used to handle so much more than this — what’s wrong with me?”
I want you to hear this clearly:
Nothing is wrong with you.
Perimenopause changes the internal environment of your nervous system in ways that make everyday stressors feel heavier, louder, and harder to manage. You’re not becoming less capable — your body is moving through a transition that affects how you experience pressure, emotion, and demand.
Overwhelm in perimenopause isn’t a character flaw.
It’s physiology + life load + emotional labour converging all at once.
Let’s talk about what’s actually happening.
1. Your Nervous System Is More Sensitive Than It Used to Be
During perimenopause, hormones that once acted as natural “buffering systems” start to fluctuate. The most important one here is progesterone, which has a calming, stabilizing effect on the nervous system.
As progesterone dips, your system loses some of the built-in steadiness you’ve relied on for decades.
That means:
you startle more easily
your threshold for stimulation shrinks
stress hits harder and lingers longer
your emotional “recovery time” slows down
This isn’t you becoming fragile.
This is your system recalibrating under constantly shifting internal signals.
Not sure whether what you’re feeling is hormonal anxiety or something else? I explain the difference here.
2. The Mental Load You Carry Is Massive — and Unsustainable
By the time women reach their 40s and 50s, they’ve often been managing the emotional temperature of households, workplaces, relationships, and children for decades.
Even without perimenopause, most women are already:
remembering everything
planning everything
compensating for others
supporting everyone emotionally
absorbing stress that isn’t theirs
Perimenopause exposes how much you’ve been carrying, often silently.
With fewer hormonal buffers, the mental load that used to feel “manageable” now feels like too much because…it is too much.
You haven’t changed.
Your internal conditions have.
For a deeper breakdown of how your emotional and cognitive symptoms interact during perimenopause, you can read my full guide here.
3. Cognitive Changes Make Tasks Feel Bigger Than They Should
Brain fog, slower word retrieval, difficulty concentrating, and mental fatigue all contribute to the sense that ordinary tasks are suddenly monumental.
You’re not imagining this.
Fluctuating estrogen and progesterone affect the brain regions responsible for attention, memory, and executive functioning.
As a result:
decisions take more energy
multitasking becomes harder
focus slips more quickly
organizing thoughts takes longer
A task you would have breezed through five years ago now requires intention, effort, and recovery time. Now, your brain is working harder in the background just to maintain baseline.
If brain fog or word retrieval issues feel unsettling, this post explains exactly what’s happening inside your mind during perimenopause.
4. Sleep Disruption Amplifies Everything
Doesn’t it feel like you can survive almost anything with good sleep — and almost nothing without it?
Perimenopause brings:
early-morning wakings
middle of night awakenings
night sweats
restless sleep
waking unrefreshed
changed sleep architecture
Even a slight reduction in sleep quality magnifies emotional reactivity, reduces stress tolerance, and lowers cognitive stamina.
So if you’ve been wondering why you’re more irritable, more sensitive, more drained, and more easily overwhelmed…
Sleep is often a huge part of the picture.
5. Identity Shifts Make Everything Feel Unsettled
A surprising source of overwhelm is the internal identity shift that often happens during perimenopause. The version of you who said yes, kept going, absorbed everything, and held it all together may not feel accessible anymore.
You may notice:
less patience for being overextended
more resentment toward unsustainable roles
a growing desire for boundaries
a longing for rest, space, authenticity
We are finally becoming honest with ourselves.
Think of overwhelm as your signal for - the beginning of a transition toward a life that fits you better.
6. The Emotional Labour of “Keeping It Together” Finally Reaches Its Limit
For many women, overwhelm isn’t caused by any single stressor.
It’s the accumulation of (oh, you know where I’m going with this!):
decades of emotional labour
caregiving
high functioning
perfectionism
being “the strong one”
swallowing your own needs
running a household
managing a relationship
caring for children, parents, or both
performing at work
Perimenopause removes the internal padding that once helped you tolerate this load. Without that padding, you begin to feel the full weight of what you’ve been carrying.
This is not a failure.
7. So… Why Does Everything Feel So Overwhelming?
Because you are:
✨ carrying too much
✨ sleeping too little
✨ thinking harder to do the same tasks
✨ feeling emotions more intensely
✨ adjusting to identity changes
✨ functioning with fewer hormonal buffers
And you’re doing it all while still being expected to perform at the same level you always have.
No wonder everything feels like too much.
What Helps (and What Doesn’t Require Reinventing Your Life)
Women don’t need to overhaul their entire existence — they need:
rest that counts
reduced emotional labour
realistic expectations
support instead of self-criticism
a gentler internal voice
permission to not function at full capacity
connection with women going through the same thing
Overwhelm doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means your system is telling the truth.
And the truth is:
you deserve more support, more softness, and more space than you’ve been given.
Closing: You’re Not Falling Apart — You’re Hitting a Threshold
Perimenopause doesn’t break you.
It reveals where you’ve been carrying more than any human nervous system is meant to.
If everything feels overwhelming right now, it’s not because you’re “too sensitive” or “not coping well.”
It’s because you’ve been coping brilliantly for decades —
and your body is letting you know it’s time for a new way.
You’re not alone.
And you don’t have to do this alone.
The information on this website is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or to replace your relationship with your health care provider. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or seen on this site.